Today's realization

So I started a new job, and I am just starting to figure out that this is going to be a quiet time for me as I get adjusted to my new environment. My ability to compose myself is easy and the people here are under stress and have seldom moments to socialize.

On the inside I am exhausted and combusting with joy as I adopted a pup over the weekend. She is not really a pup, but a 2 year old dog that is so small you would think she is a puppy. Since I never write on this.. the run down is my last dog had severe medical problems and I, as her owner, did not find her a new suitable home before the problem got so severe that she literally remove the skin from her leg. It has been about 7 months since her passing. Parts of me hate that I was not good enough and the other parts of me was challenged beyond anything I could bare.

The challenge about getting a dog I think mentally exhausted me. I want one so bad for love and companionship but the thought of that happening again was horrifying. My better half convinced me that I can never know what is to come with the dog and I need to except the good with the bad.

Anyways, I have a feeling I will be more consistently writing on here since I do not have anyone to talk to at work. Hehe.

Yuck

I am totally in a pissy mode. I don't know what I have to be pissy about but I am tired of being at work. This week has just begun and I feel like it is never going to end. Yuck!

The last few weeks has been really hard on me, and I could handle it then, but now I feel like I am on another channel.

I do not want to be at work. Then I get home and it is really messy. So messy I don't want to clean it up.

Pup has a foot infection. Poor thing, she never get a break. Always taking medication for something. I love her though, I love her a lot.


2:38 - I still do not want to be at work. I think the I do not like my job, so I end up sucking at it more then I normally would because there is this piece of me that hates it.
I have to give them, that I have flexibility and I get paid semi-well, not great, but good.

When will this day be over????? Or even better, when will thi week be over? I guess this gives me time to work out!

3:00 - I am so not focused today...

No Way Out

Today I am hating my job more than ever. I can't help the people who are lagging the most and I have to restrained myself to help, just so I can have a shitter day later thi week. On the other hand, I have lost 14lb and I have a good feeling about staying on track. We will see with qtr end approaching - late nights, bad food, and no exercise.

It has been awhile..

I am going to start blogging again...I think it will be fun. I am planning on signing in and sharing my unusual thoughts. I have a few right now. Coming soon.. if anyone is reading. Lol

some new insights

• Always pack more then you think you need. You'll regret if you don't.

• A 6 week old kitten with diarrhea is bad. Take her to the vet. Its probably cocindia and they need medicine, pronto.

• Space between you and your boyfriend is NEVER bad!

• Don't get to in to detail about your life at work. (I really need to take my own advice)

• Having your own space is always good.

• Except your significant other for who they are.

• Don't make your body go in ways its not made to go in; you'll and up hurting yourself and feeling stupid.

Carpe diem or live to see tomorrow?

take care of yourself and cherish every moment...

Vacation; laughter and love

My boyfriend shows me a world that I never was exposed to; snow boarding, dirt bikes, atv's, riding in the dunes. He also has showed me family. Unfortunately, his family hates me right now. We got into a fight while johnny and I were fighting. Ironically I don't think we would of fought if he wasn't getting chewed out by his mom. Anyways, his little sister hates me. She has increasingly become very bitchy; to new lengths. Anyways my boyfriend does everything he can (in his own way) to try and soften me up so I'm not such a hard ass. - think its finally working. I'm so sacred that he's like all the other guys. I wish I wasn't so scared.

Its pretty deep stuff he's going through. Like I don't understand to any lengths what he and his family are going through. I understood the intial blow. I felt how final it was. But I guess that is slowly settling even more that its final. I am not reminded every moment, that ache, the longing he must feel.

I love him so much. How did I fall in love with him so hard. I'm told I have to except who he is whole heartedly to really experience love to the fullest. I hope that we can see that life is to short; all we need is laughter and love